Yesterday was my first Father's Day. Guess how I got to spend it?
I got to spend the day with my mother-in law.
Imagine my excitement. Suffice it to say that I was in desperate need of
My wife and infant daughter wished me a Happy Father's Day yesterday. Which was nice, but, the only happy part about MY day yesterday was when we were no longer in the company of my monster-in-law.
As the title indicates, this was my first father's day as a father. So you'd think I get to celebrate it the way I wanted to, right?
Wrong. Even when it's FATHER'S DAY, my MOTHER-in-law gets to make the decisions. And that's the best part about my mother-in-law. F**K what you want to do unless what you want to do is what she wants to do... then it's okay.
You may be wondering how my mother-in-law picked what I got to do on my first Father's Day. Through treachery, I tell you! TREACHERY!
It was a thinly-veiled attempt at democracy. She pretended to let the fathers pick where we would eat on Sunday.
I say *pretended* because her husband conveniently suggested one of my mother-in-law's favorite places to eat while we were discussing where to go. Even though we hadn't come to a conclusion yet, upon hearing one of her favorite places to eat enter the discussion, she immediately JUMPED at the opportunity and made the decision for us. Which, honestly, is the most jumping I've ever seen her engage in.
That's pretty shady... and shitty of her to do. Now I know how people in Russia feel when they declare their elections to be fixed.
There was no real discussion, just a steadfast decision made by the same woman who exclaims (rather proudly) that Mother's Day is a week long event to celebrate her life through offerings of massages and lavish riches that will both pamper and exalt her above everyone else. During this week she is also the sole decision-making authority on all things... and I mean ALL THINGS.
As if she doesn't otherwise get her way every other day of the year.
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That's the same as Chris Brown agreeing to 12 round boxing match with a woman. How is beating up a woman in a ring any different than you beating up women in your spare time? Was Rihanna just a sparring opponent? Is that why you guys are getting back together? Because Drake beat the shit out of you and you need more practice with your former punching bag?
Not once did anyone, ANYONE even bother to ask me where I wanted to go to celebrate my FIRST Father's Day.
Maybe it's selfish of me to have wanted to have